Saturday 7/14/12:
Saturday morning I woke up so stiff. I could hardly rotate
my head and I was having shooting pains down my spine. My
right shoulder and arm were tingling with a bit of numbness and I
was scared out of my mind. But the competitor inside
meknewthat I could do this. Iknewthat if I could just get
through a few more workouts I would have the next couple of months
to recover. So, with my family, friends and fans behind me I
headed out for day 3.
First workout was a 300m shuttle sprint. On the football
field, after the gun fired, we were to sprint to the 50-yard line
and back, then turn to the 100-yard line and sprint to the
finish. With each turn we were to touch the ground with both
hands and both feet. I knew this was doable as I could keep
my neck neutral. I overheard some athletes questioning
whether or not to go all out on the sprint because they didn't want
to waste themselves for the sled push that immediately
followed. But my outlook was that the sprint was it's own
individual event and I knew it was an event that I needed as it
wouldn't effect my neck as much…so I went for it. I felt
pretty good after the sprint and tried to slow my breathing down as
we headed over to the mats where we waited for the count down to
jump on the crash mat to head up the rope. As I looked up at
the rope I felt my neck twinge and immediately looked ahead and
shook it off - trying to focus on the task at hand and ignore the
pain in my neck. The countdown came and went and we were
climbing up the ropes. First one felt good and I headed to
the football sled, touched the ground (per instruction) and hit the
sled trying to stay low with short choppy steps. The sled was
heavy, my quads were burning, but it was fun and the adrenaline was
taking over…I didn't feel my neck. Come round 3 though, I hit
that sled and knew I hit it sort of funny as I felt a shooting pain
down my spine, but readjusted and got the job done. I wasn't
winning my heat, but I was making it through. As I attempted
round 4 for the rope climb I jumped on the mat and felt pretty
dizzy and took a moment to collect myself before jumping up on the
rope. It was definitely getting harder (which was a surprise
to me as rope climbs have never been something I've struggled
with), but I made it up and down and hit the sled. "Only one
more rope climb" going through my head as I made my way back to the
rope. I hopped up on the mat and all of a sudden I couldn't
focus…the instability on the mat, the heat, my neck, the fatigue…I
don't know what it was, but I couldn't find my balance and
literally felt like I was going to pass out. I grabbed ahold
of the rope and wasted several seconds as I tried to regain my
equilibrium, but it wasn't happening. I knew I had to go for
it, so I jumped up on the rope and felt my way up as I was
struggling to even see. Somehow I made that last assent and
new that it was over and I made it through. I hit the ground,
ran my way to the sled, touched the ground and hit it with all my
might trying to jog it across the finish line. The jog was
more of a trudge, but I made it and collapsed.
After catching my breath, I stood up and it felt like the track
was spinning around me. I made it off the track and bolted
straight for the medic tent as I knew something wasn't right.
They threw ice bags on me and laid me down thinking that it was
heat exhaustion/dehydration, but I knew that wasn't it. I was
peeing almost clear and had been drinking water like it was going
out of style all week. I laid there for a while as the
chiropractic did some traction on my neck for what seemed like an
hour but was probably closer to about 20 minutes. I was
feeling a bit better, but when I sat up and tried to rotate my
head, there was major restricted range of motion. My
chiropractor, John Fragoso, used Marcus' coach's pass to jump into
the athlete area and took over. He did some manipulation and
active release work and it eased some tension to where I had more
movement, but it still wasn't good. But I just kept thinking,
"one more workout down…only 6 to go."
Spending the next couple of hours with ice on my neck, ibuprofen
in my system and Marcus by my side, I knew that I was going to
attempt the next workout…the clean ladder. Marcus was not
pleased with my decision and was asking me to stop, but I had
worked too hard to quit now.
I did a warmup, but not too much as I didn't want my traps to
fire up more than they already were. I was going to need them
for these cleans. Luckily it was hot outside so my body was
warm and didn't require a whole lot of movement to get/keep my
muscles warm. As I watched the girls ahead of me rock the
ladder I was massaging my traps and focusing on positive
thoughts. I headed out there and the first couple of lifts
felt okay. When I hit 185# my trap decided it was done and
the focus I had on the movement was taken to my neck. I tried
to escape it, but going into my 190# lift that's all I could think
of…I made the lift successfully and stepped onto 195# at the
30-second mark. Going into that attempt, I took a deep
breath, visualized me nailing the lift and went for it.
Unfortunately I couldn't hold it…I caught it in the rack position,
but all I could feel was spasms on my right side and I couldn't
stand up with it. I was bummed to say the least…but now
looking back on it, I hit my PR and can't be upset with that
considering the circumstances.
From there, I cheered on the other girls…celebrating their
performances and being awed by Lindsey Valenzuela and Elizabeth
Akinwale as they blasted through the entire ladder.
Impressive! As we headed off the floor I didn't realize that
that was the end of The 2012 Reebok CrossFit Games for me.
Just a short while after the completion of the Clean Ladder,
Dave Castro called the athletes onto the floor where he would
announce the final workout for the day in front of the
spectators. I walked out to see several bars set up with
rings at the end of each row. My heart absolutely sank.
I couldn't take my attention away from the lack of range of motion
in my neck, the pain shooting down my spine, the numbness in my
right side and empty feeling in my gut - I knew that those pieces
of equipment meant something overhead and muscle ups in some
form. As Dave announced The Chipper workout my eyes were
welling with tears and I choked them back until he finished.
The athletes took deep breaths and the crowd roared with excitement
in anticipation of what was about to go down. Once I got back
into the tunnel headed toward the athletes' area, the tears started
flowing and I knew that my time this year was over. It was
too much of a risk and going to be impossible for me to go out and
perform those movements. Marcus was there, waiting for me
with open arms, as I struggled to catch my breath and control my
emotions. I didn't have to say anything, but he knew I was
done. All of the blood, sweat and tears from 10 months of
training and 7 months of struggling through an injury were
overflowing at one time. How could this happen? Why did
it flare up this weekend? Are my family, friends and fans
going to be so disappointed? I've let so many people
down. These thoughts were all racing through my mind as I was
trying to make sense of what was happening.
We went straight to the standards meeting after the announcement
of The Chipper workout. I sat among the other athletes trying
to hold myself together (and failing miserably) with CJ and Marcus
right by my side. I asked CJ to please tell them that I had
to withdraw, which he kindly did and I reluctantly had to
confirm. I felt empty.
I wasn't able to watch the girls for final workout of Saturday…I
was trying to pull myself together. Friends and family
surrounding me, supporting me and grieving with me as I had to make
this hard decision. Saturday night was a bittersweet night
for me. I was among all my family and able to actually hang
out and talk to them without needing to quickly eat and get to bed
to prep for the final day. But, my entire body was
emotionally exhausted, in pain and a bit lost as to what had
transpired that day.